Ganzeveld: Hello, and welcome back to Now How Much Would You Pay! The show where we ask the only question worth asking: For the life of luxury you know you deserve, but which material things cannot provide, how much would you pay?
Darnielle: Thanks, Mike! Our first item this week is a year in a motel room in Las Vegas!
Ganzeveld: Now how much would you pay?
Darnielle: Don’t answer yet! There’s a bar just around the corner and a guy living in the next room who’s been there since Khruschev spoke at the United Nations! He’s probably somebody’s father! You’ll want to avoid the hell out of him in the early evenings, but you haven’t got anywhere to go!
Ganzeveld: Yes, John, and he’s probably still there! What have we got next?
Darnielle: 10 days at cruising speed [Crosstalk: Ganzeveld laughs] through the southernmost United States in a Dodge Dart!
Ganzeveld: Shining bands of gold on your ring fingers! Both of you! The cheapest rooms listed in the truck stop coupon books! Hashbrowns! Hangovers! Cop Cars! Highway robbery!
Darnielle: HIGHWAY ROBBERY!? NOW how much would you pay!
Ganzeveld: For the low price - don’t answer yet, ‘cause if you act now, you can also get that thing behind the curtain!
Darnielle: Yes, Mike, or the infinite space behind Door #2!
Ganzeveld: Is there a Door #2?
Darnielle: Christ, no, there’s no Door #2! There never has been a Door #2 and it doesn’t look like there’s one in the making!
Ganzeveld: No Door #2? So there’s only one way out?
Darnielle: You got it!
Ganzeveld: Goddamn! Now how much would you pay!
Darnielle: Don’t answer yet, because sooner or later, you’re both gonna run out of road!
Ganzeveld: We’re all gonna run out of road!
Darnielle: Soon enough and sure enough.
Ganzeveld: And when we do, we’re gonna want our loving wives -
Darnielle: - or husbands -
Ganzeveld: Right by our sides.
Darnielle: To comfort us -
Ganzeveld: - and console us -
Darnielle: - to help us through the hard times -
Ganzeveld: - to try to kill us in our sleep -
Darnielle: - to hold the glass steady when our hands are shaking too hard!
Ganzeveld: That’s most of the time now.
Darnielle: You know it!
Ganzeveld: Yes, you know it.
Darnielle: Christ, everyone knows it!
Ganzeveld: Now how much would you pay!
Darnielle: That’s the question.
Ganzeveld: That’s always gonna be the question!
Darnielle: How much would you pay?
Ganzeveld: If you had to pay now -
Darnielle: - because, you might.
Ganzeveld: A whole year’s supply of fortified wine!
Darnielle: Blurry photographs of a wedding reception you can barely remember!
Ganzeveld: Nobody remembers that!
Darnielle: I’m sure somebody does.
Ganzeveld: You can’t be sure of anything.
Darnielle: I know one thing and one thing only:
Ganzeveld: I’m going to surround myself with things that look exactly like me.
Darnielle: I’ll take ‘em with me to MY GRAVE!!
Ganzeveld: Now how much would you pay!
Darnielle: Can I answer now?
Ganzeveld: You can answer whenever you like, but remember this: You can stop whenever you want.
Darnielle: But Mike, our viewers knew that back in Vegas!
Ganzeveld: That can’t stop them.
Darnielle: And it won’t stop them now!
Ganzeveld: Ice cubes.
Darnielle: Tonic water.
Ganzeveld: Key limes!
Darnielle: Triple distilled!
Ganzeveld: Straight from the Hood River.
Darnielle: Now how much would you pay!
Ganzeveld: Now how much would you pay!
Darnielle: That’s all the time we’ve got on our show today -
Ganzeveld: - but we’ll be back tomorrow!
Darnielle: Try and stop us!
Ganzeveld: Go ahead and try!
Darnielle: Now how much would you pay!
Ganzeveld: Don’t answer yet!
Darnielle: Oh, HEAVENS no don’t answer just yet!
Ganzeveld: But really -
Darnielle: [quietly] - just between friends -
Ganzeveld: - now how much would you pay.